Tuesday, June 20, 2017

The last few months...

The older you get, the more quiet you become. Life humbles you so deeply as you age. You realized how much nonsense you've wasted your time on. 
When I was  young I used to admire intelligent people; As I grow older I admire kind people...

So many things to do... and so little time...
One would think when the youngest child starts nursery the mommy will have more time to get things done. That's so not happening any time soon. At least now I've quit putting things off for later. There is never going to a better time to do whatever it is you want to do. So why wait to do them?

I had started this post some 3-4 months back but never got to finishing it. I love blogging but feel guilty whenever I sit on it. There is always someone who needs me to do something for them. Makes me wonder what all my mom went through for me and my 5 sisters. Crazy...

I have not been in much of a blogging mood lately. Either I was too busy or I would be too frustrated with the insensitivity of the people around me to sit and type. Writing when I'm angry isn't a good idea. Yes, it does help relieve tension but the thoughts, opinions and decisions that stem from anger are almost always wrong, hateful and destructive... better left unwritten.

There has been so many wonderful changes and new developments in our lives the past few months. I can't quite grasp how fast time seems to fly.... and how out of touch I am with everyone lately. It depresses me a lot when I think of the people I used to love talking to, chatting with and the ones in Saudi and India whom I miss so much. My husband has always managed to get me to travel and enjoy with family and friends in the little free time I get. I might not always be agreeable to them but in the end I do end up enjoying if not fully relaxed. God bless him! If not for him I would have gone mad with everything.

I'm done with my 2nd and 3rd trimesters (done with the first year of MBA) and I can't remember having a more exhausting time. The 2nd trimester was a lot more enriching than I expected it to be. It started off with 4 dull (what I thought then) topics. By the end of the term, Operations Management & Marketing started to sounds more enticing. I got to learn a lot about working with different people in groups. There were many instances where I felt I would have preferred doing the work alone but now I see the wisdom in it. It's not easy working with other people. And that is what this is all about. Learning when to talk and when to shut up and let others talk. How to handle the control freaks and the social loafers (picked up this word from Khyati ma'am). Term 3 went too fast. I found 3 of the 4 subjects really dull. Only Business Research Methods engaged me. My mom in law and sis in law cam in the last month of Term 3 and it all just went in a blur.

We enrolled Ehsaan in Toddlers International Nursery and he started attending from the 2nd week of January. The first 2-3 weeks weren't pleasant. He cried a lot coz of not getting enough sleep, having to stay away from me for a longer period of time and also being around a lot of new people. But alhamdulillah, he adjusted in those 3 weeks. I cannot explain how exhausting those days were. Dropping & picking a crying child. But since then he has improved so much.
Ehsaan is done with 2 complete Terms @ Toddlers. He loves it there! Every morning he wakes up saying, "Let go Nursery!". He was never much of a talker unlike Ayaan and now has picked up a few more vocabulary and forms better sentences. He has had a fun, activity filled 6 months at toddlers. Will put up a post on Ehsaan's Nursery soon with more pics :)
He'll turn 3 years old tmrw :') How did he grow up so fast :(

This was a pic I took on his first day at Toddlers :)

We have also decided to change Ayaan's school. It'll be a change from CBSE to UK curriculum. He will be starting in September. As he is done with Grade 1 in his current school he will have to wait 5 months to join the new school year in September. He is not happy about the change but is resigned to it now.

Ayaan and his friends dressed up for Goa dance on Annual Day @ IIS...

The kids have had some fun times with family and friends these past months. Hubby took Ayaan and his friends out to Chucky Cheeses one night when I went to Manipal. A boys night out. They had quite a smashing time there...


Aadil, Aashrith and Ayaan....
These 3 had all started off in the same school but now are in 3 different schools.

Then we had a Legoland fun time :)


This is when we went to watch the New Year BurjKhalifa fireworks...


There is nothing more a mother wants than to see her children happy. But there is always so much to do and most of the time I leave things half done. I feel overwhelmed and almost always feel a failure as a mother. The worst part is when people assume that as a woman I am supposed to be able to do all this and more without complaining.
What I have learnt from the past few months is that we should be strong and not let the opinions of others influence us coz they will hinder us from attaining what we want. We should not let others suppress us with their perception of the world and how things ought to be done. Take the good from it whenever you can but never let them rule your life.
And most importantly, be kind to people. Have a care with the words you use.
And finally always be thankful for all you have been given... just a few years back you were dreaming of or praying for them.

The beautiful month of Ramadan is coming to an end. As every Ramadan comes to an end we are filled with regret that we didn't do more. Let's make the most of what we have left...



Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Starting MBA at Manipal....

Whenever you find yourself doubting if you can go on, just remember how far you have come.Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome. Then raise your head high and forge on ahead, knowing that, YOU GOT THIS!
- Pinterest. 

I have never  really been happy with myself for anything after finishing 12th grade. School days had been the best part of my life. And after that..... nothing.... I cant remember being happy about anything I did. Ofourse getting married and having Ayaan and Ehsaan is an amazing part of my life, but that still did not make me feel like that was my accomplishment alone. I needed to have something for myself. All that had happened to me was because of someone else. It had never been initiated by me. I dont know what I was doing... now when I think about it, it was like I was too numb and just accepted whatever came to me rather than question and go for what I wanted for myself. I started off BCA coz my sister pushed me to it... I joined for work while doing my bachelors(which was thru correspondence) was because my friend pushed me to it. I got married? Well isn't that what's expected out of a 23 year old Indian girl? Yesss... I was really dumb and naive... I expected everyone(especially the ones older to me) to be good simply because I myself believed that you have to be good to everyone.

I have never really questioned anything after school... only accepted what came to me. But marriage and having kids changed all that. After marriage I realized being strong is the only option there is if I wanted to live a proper life and build something for myself rather than be someones dummy. And I was sick and tired of the way men were somehow considered better than women. Doing things for a man out of love is a whole different thing than being told a million times they should be considered first before everything. And its only human to want to be treated with that same care as we give.

After 5 years of marriage I have had enough of trying to be the good little wife, staying home, cooking for hubby and kids. And that is when wonderful things started happening.... :)

I got my driving license 😎
I am no expert... still have a long way to go till I reach there, but I'm happy that I managed to get it. And it feels extra special after being brought up in a place where women are not allowed to drive.

And then I enrolled for MBA. Now MBA is not something I joined out of a desire for it (I had lost hope for that 6 years back). But since getting into it I have fallen in love with it! 😄 I am totally new to anything commerce and was a bit apprehensive about it at first. But I have found my new love in Accounting! :) A lot people cannot really understand me when I say I feel upset when I am unable to learn. You see, I actually like this. And I want to know all there is to know. Sad thing is I usually am not able to study and I'm not supposed to feel sad about it because I'm just supposed to pass it seems... :-/
Hmm.... anyway, the only subject which I miss not being able to study is Accounting....

It's been more than 3 months since I joined for MBA in Manipal. I'm done with my first trimester there. And it feels wonderful. The class environment is great! I was expecting to be in a class with a bunch of little older serious people. But its the opposite in there. The teachers are super friendly and amazing in their respective subjects.

I have made some good friends there :) It started off with the 3 of us and we went on to add some more of them to our group :D

It does get very hectic at times. But I have got through the first one and now I feel better prepared and know what all I can expect and how to manage my family life accordingly.

My husband and kids are a team now. Each night when I go for classes they plan something new to do :) Here are some of the things they get up to when I'm gone:





They're happy. I'm happy. Alhamdulillah for everything! :)

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Being fair is Important!

"It is not fair to ask of others what you are unwilling to do yourself"
- Eleanor Roosevelt


Hi guys! This post is related to a video my friend Anjali had put up on facebook. It is about what you can do to avoid the horrible situation in india....the situation of rape, acid attack etc.... all the wrong done to helpless women by bad men... heres the video:


After watching this, I had this depressing feeling that no amount of learning martial art will be enough. Anger, having a grudge, jealousy are all strong emotions which is what fuels these attackers to hurt others. Learning to protect ourselves will give us confidence and strength, but it will in no way stop these kind of acts. Because how do these people become like this in the first place?? What causes people to become so evil that they need to hurt others so bad?

The behaviour of a person is created and developed by the environment he is brought up in. How he has been treated since he was born.

Why do majority of men act like they own the world and that women need to do things for them? 

How are the girls and boys brought up in our Indian society?
What is the most common thing that they are told?
Boys will get married and get home a girl to cook for them and to look after their family.
Girls are told that they will leave the house when they get married and have to go look after their husband's family.
Yessssss.... perfect way to bring up children... isnt it?
Tell one that they are meant to rule and they and their family are the priority and tell the other one that she has to submit and her family is not as important as her husbands will be. :-|
And then these people go on to complain about how our society is going bad!

Our society is going bad because we are bringing up our children in the wrong way! We are teaching them to be unfair!

How many of you think having grandparents live along with the family is excellent for children's development?
Ok, now tell me, which set of grandparents are u talking about living in the house with you? The mother's parent's or the father's? And please explain why one set of grandparents are important and what makes the other lesser important? Or are you planning to have both set of grandparents living in the house with you for your child's development?

Sad that people don't seem to realise that whats important is to show children that we have to be fair in life. We have to treat people good. No one is more important than the other.

If having grandparents at home is what you want then you should have both of them.
The most ideal way is to live separately. It does not show that you don't care about the grandparents. It shows that you care so much about the feelings of both set of grandparents that you do not want to have one of them home while the other stays in a different place. You are showing your child both of them are important. They watch and learn that we have to be fair to them... whether they are mother's side or father's side.
It forms a part of their personality. (Being fair to both men and women is important)

Next we have to stop assuming that the boy brings the girl home and the girl goes away to stay at the boys place. This is wrong. It shows a child one is preferred and the other has to submit.
Marriage unifies 2 people(man and women) and they build their family seperately. They should have their own house so that they can bring up their children in a fair environment.

Our problem is caused by ourselves. We can change this... we have to bring up our boys and girls the right way. We must show them no one is more important than the other!

A person brought up in an environment where they are made to feel they deserve everything and others need to submit to them, will most probably react harshly when in anger...

If you want the pathetic situation of rape, acid attack and all the other horrible things happening to stop, then please stop repeating what our elder have done! Bring up your children the right way!

It will not completely eradicate these situations. But it will reduce.... and we need to keep trying.

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Chillout Ice Lounge

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. It has to be felt in the heart...
- Helen Keller

Hellooo! :)
I have been soooo happily busy these days that whatever post I write ends up staying in the drafts and then I forget about it. I have joined for MBA in Manipal for the evening classes and in one of the group presentation yesterday they were talking about the blogging industry which reminded me of why I had started this blog and all the wonderful feelings attached to this. And I just had to come back here and put up a post to get it back on track. There's nothing more satisfying than having a post published :D

So this post is about a night out with my friends. Jincy, Fervind and I have been planning since the first time we met in 2012 about going out together with family. But it was only last year October that we finally got to it.

We went out to Chillout Lounge for dinner. The Chillout Lounge is the first ice lounge in the Middle East. The temperature is set at -6 degrees. The temperature at the check-in area is kept at 5 degree celsius for our bodies to adjust to the even lower temperature to come.We were given woolen gloves, jackets and even fresh socks were available. We wrapped up the children well too.

At first look inside I felt it was a small place maybe because I expected something big. But it was beautiful... and wonderfully cold :) The settings where all made of ice; ice benches and seats.... there was also an ice block with a flower inside. There were many beautiful ice sculptures with beautiful lightings. Check out some of the pics we took from there.












The lounge served hot chocolates and some grilled chicken. It was difficult to take pics coz we had to remove gloves to be able to take pics from mobile cam. And then our hands got too cold. All in all it was a good experience but as our tummy wasnt happy with only a few chicken pieces and hot chocolate we went to the Mandi House and had some mandi and then it was there that I first tasted kunafa (which has become a favourite with me since then)

Do checkout the Chillout lounge for some intense cool climate experience... its one great place to get beautiful pics!

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

My Kindergarten Graduate!

My little baby is all grown up...

Three days back was Ayaan's graduation and I've been in a bit of a melancholy mood since then. I had no idea I would be this sad. My baby has grown up so much. He will be going to the 'real school' now. Longer hours away from home. Ayaan is all excited and happy thinking of going to Grade 1. He keeps asking me each day if that was the last kg2 day and will he be going to Grade 1 now :)
I am happy that he is excited about moving up.

Here is my little graduate:


How fast these 2 years have gone by. I remember the days when he started kindergarten... they were tough on both of us. How much time has passed since then... with so many wonderful changes in both of us. On the Graduation day the school principal had said, "This day is not just for our children... it is more for the parents. Our children are capable of handling all that is given to them. The challenges were more for you.... who were uncertain and worried about their child's capabilities. This graduation is for you all to celebrate their success as well as preparing yourself mentally for the new challenges to come."

Ayaan with his friend Aashrith

The Graduation Ceremony was beautifully organised and it was hosted by 3 charming KG2 students. There were lots of performances by the KG1 students for their seniors. And performance by KG2 students for the teachers and parents.

Ayaan and his classmates with their class teacher, Mrs.Anitha

All in all it was a day I'll treasure.  I especially loved the last performance by the Graduates on this song: Dynamite :)



Some throwbacks from KG1 and KG2 days...

Mr. Little Tea Pot and Peter Pan


Ayaan misses Adil a lot. But, Alhamdulillah, a change of school has been good for him. He is much more happier to go to school now. Ayaan asks me often, when will Adi be coming back to his school :)



The day he came home with water colour paints on his socks and I thought he was hurt...

My little Thai man

Class Concert: Fruit Fight

At the Posh Paws

How time flies. My little graduate turned 5 yesterday. He sure is growing very fast... and is still extremely naughty.... my naughty little graduate all eager and waiting for grade 1 to start :)

A few things I want to tell parents of new Kindergarteners: Kindergarten is a very important phase in a child's life. It is not optional any more. It is where the foundations are laid. And if the foundation is not strong the later years will be even more tougher for them to handle. So please do not unnecessarily take 2-3 weeks vacation when the school is still in session. Wait for the actual school vacation to take one. Kindergarten years are important for your child!

Take care of them. Listen to their stories. Play with them. Show them how much you love them. Give lots of hugs and kisses. Encourage them to think positive and do good....

They grow up way too fast...
It's normal for us mommies to feel sad... the trick is to keep busy and not to show it to your child. You'll get over it and soon your child's excitement will catch you too! :)
Looking back, wasn't it all worth it?
We did it!!
:')

Monday, February 1, 2016

A day out with kids on Republic day :)

When in doubt, travel!

On Republic Day Fervind and I took the kids out for a day at the park. Since Adil changed school Ayaan didnt get to see him as much. And we needed a break ourselves from our hectic life. The kids could run around and we could chat and relax a bit. Of course going out with kids is not always a relaxing episode, but then the getting out of house itself has a calming effect on us. So we decided to simply drop all work we had and get out of house.   


As husbands had office we took a taxi to the park. After getting the kids into the car and the pram, diaper bags and 2 balls in the trunk, we realized one of ami's shoe was missing... and you know how it feels when you lose any item of ur kids belonging... very upsetting... but thankfully we found it in the pram when we reached the park :D

Ehsaan fell in a dirty, wet patch on the grass right after we reached there. The park had very few people and we felt soo good having it almost to ourselves. It was a beautiful day. Perfect weather!



   





We took lots of snacks and water with us to keep the kids happy. Hafizka came to pick us up around Magrib time. It was a wonderful day for us all :) We intend to do more of such things... but its the getting out of house thats tough.

It's never easy to be a stay at home mom. But when kids are small and we dont feel comfortable in leaving them with others we can't complain can we?

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Saudi trip and meeting my nephew

"Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory..."
- Dr.Seuss

I had gone for a 17- days trip to Bahrah to be with my parents and for a well needed rest. Here or India its the same for me. My husband might get the rest he needs when we go to India but its this same life for me there. Not exactly a resting vacation.
Getting the visit visa to Saudi was a headache... but I was super excited to go. After I got there Ehsaan had lose motion, cold, fever and a back breakout of rashes. We went around that sand storm times which had hit most of the gulf countries in March. His rashes would dry up, crack open and ooze out blood and puss :( And it used to itch him a lot too. I used a lot of moisturising baby lotion. By the time my baby got better it was time to come back.  My mom kept insisting to take him to doctor, but I didnt want to go. Ehsaan had this very same thing when we went to India and as soon as we returned he got better. But it actually got worse after coming back from Saudi. It was time for his vaccines so I took him to doc here and got this treated too. He gave a cream to apply and it helped Alhamdulillah

Ayaan was having the time of his life back in Saudi. He was always out playing with the neighbour kids. There were boys for him to play ball with. We are an all girls family. My dad and my 5 month old nephew were the only males at home. My dad would be in office most of the time and Abu in Jeddah with his paternal grandparents... what could Ayaan play with a 5 month old anyway.. :)

Even though outings and all that was not possible, Alhamdulillah, I got to be with my parents and all my sisters were there too and that was happiness enough. I last saw my younger sister, Shaimah when Ayaan was 1.5 yrs.. so seeing her after so long was happiness. She had changed a lot.
My husband couldn't come and I felt his absence a lot. I never feel fully happy anywhere without him. Ehsaan missed him a lot too. The first few days after we reached there he would always cry calling, "abba, abba" when he got hurt. Ayaan was too busy playing to miss abba.. but he did ask about abba at sleeping times. He sleeps hugging abba :)

I took these pics of Dubai when we took off...
You can see the needle point building that is the Burj Khalifa in this one...  
 Here you can see the world Islands and the Palm Jumeirah....
Some beautiful clouds... :)

I finally got to meet my nephew, Abdullah!! :) I never really introduced him. My elder sister had a scheduled C section on the 8th of October 2014 and this new joy entered our lives.



He has such adorably big eyes and round face :) Ma sha Allah. May Allah bless this little guy! He is 4 months younger to Ehsaan... and unlike Ehsaan its tough to get a smile out of Abu :) When he does smile its the cutest thing ever. I love the way he cries a soft and helpless sound :) poor little love. I miss him... :(

Ehsaan and Abdullah

The Cousins. Aaliya is the leader of the gang

My elder sister's in-laws had come for visit so she was busy with them. My younger sister Shaimah did come to stay with us a bit. And then my sister Shurooq was having her board exams :)
So yes, no one was really free but like I said seeing them and Saudi after so long was treat enough. I wanted to visit my friends and also go meet my school teachers but just couldn't make it...

I had made this moist chocolate cake on my sisters Siddiqa and Sidra's request. It was a super moist chocolate cake with cream cheese frosting topped with some chopped almonds. I always feel chopped nuts make the best toppings on any dessert.


A lot of my relatives are there in Saudi and we did have some get-togethers at our place and theirs:

 My cousin Zakariya with Ehsaan
 Ayaan was fascinated with Zak's pigeon. He has 4 of them..



Sidra's playhouse 
Don't know why Aaliya looks annoyed with Ayaan in this pic :D

:)
It's a lot easier to see and talk to our family thru internet these days.... but I still miss them a lot :( Why did they have to live in a whole different country...
I miss my mother, my father, sisters... I miss them all so much... :(